Dr. Terry Rondberg: Up Close and Personal

An interview with Terry Rondberg

Like every hero’s journey, Dr. Terry Rondberg’s began with a quest.  Although a respected health care professional who has enjoyed success in business, some time ago Dr. Rondberg found himself seeking a way of living that would improve his physical well-being and nurture his ever-growing spirituality.

Much to his delight, he thought he’d discovered a small island of peace and healing in Encinitas, California, the day he first walked into the Yoga Room.  Little did he know, however, that his modern-day quest led into the dark forest of a 21^st century sorceress, whose dragon-filled lair has burned dozens of seekers right here in Southern California. What follows is an interview with Dr. Rondberg, never before published, that sheds light on how his quest for well-being ended up turning into a dead end… one that required a serious U-turn, and some reflections on truth, spirituality and lessons learned.

Up Close and Personal: Terry, why are you telling this story?

Terry Rondberg: I like to think that we are all spiritual beings who want to seek and realize God. To know God is to know the truth. And I just feel that the truth has to come to light, and eventually it will win out. My story needs to be told in order to help heal those who have suffered at the dragon’s hand, and to guide other seekers away from the sorceress who weaves a spell to entrap the unwary in the dark forest of the psyche. So I’m dedicating this story to my fellow seekers. It is also dedicated to the teachings of all the great saints, mystics, prophets, avatars and gurus who have been sent to enlighten us. I respect and believe in the Self-Realization Fellowship (SRF) as well as the many other spiritual teachings including the universal truth hidden within many of our great religions.

UC&P: What is the Self-Realization Fellowship (SRF)?

Terry Rondberg: SRF is an international nonprofit society founded by Paramahansa Yogananda, known worldwide as one of the preeminent spiritual figures of our time, who introduced millions of people to the eastern Indian traditions of yoga and meditation. It was Yogananda who said:

“When you make up your mind to do good things, you will accomplish them if you use dynamic will power to follow through. No matter what the circumstances are, if you go on trying, God will create the means by which your will shall find its proper reward…. If you continuously use your will power, no matter what reverses come, it will produce success and health and power to help people, and above all, it will produce communion with God.”

I want to take this opportunity to offer a special thanks to the Self Realization Fellowship and its founding guru, Paramahansa Yogananda.

UC&P: So where and how does your story begin?

Terry Rondberg: The Yoga Room, in Encinitas, California, was founded by Peri Ness DeFay, a self-appointed “prophet.”  Peri promotes the Yoga Room as a sanctuary for spiritual growth, knowledge, love, and light.

When I first started attending classes at the Yoga Room, the atmosphere was very light and loving.  With yoga, I felt physically and emotionally wonderful, a sensation that remained long after my class was complete.

My experience was so positive that I increased my sessions at the Yoga Room from three times a week to daily.

Two months into my yoga practice, however, the atmosphere began to change. Suddenly it seemed I was being encouraged (and then later pressured) to sign up for their 10-Day Intensive program, at a cost of $2,800, which I was told was designed to help me “transform my life.”

I resisted the pressure for the first nine months, then the atmosphere and attitude towards me gradually shifted from light and loving to a feeling of being coerced.  A red flag went up in my mind, and I began noticing how Peri and her disciples practiced mind control over many attendees in an effort to dominate them in a very “cult-like” manner.  The goal of this manipulation was to pressure the student to gain control over them and encourage them to spend more money at the Yoga Room.

UC&P: Can you describe the “pressure” tactics and what you mean by “cult-like”?

Terry Rondberg: The pressure to spend more money and sign up for more training heated up.  When I resisted, Peri called in her head instructor (and slave), Roxanne DePalma, a young woman. I remember Roxanne later telling me that Peri told her I was like “ripe fruit waiting to be picked.”

Even more red flags went up when I observed interactions between Peri and Roxanne that seemed unusual; she was clinging to Peri like a slave to her master.  I witnessed Peri turn an insignificant issue into horrible scenes of threats and verbal abuse. For example, I once saw this young woman beg Peri for over 30 minutes to “please forgive” her for what most would consider minor errors in judgment.

During these episodes, Roxanne would cry and beg for Peri’s forgiveness, promising to do better in the future. It was humiliating for her, as well as difficult and embarrassing for me to observe. It was a slave/master situation in which Peri became the Svengali.

This distorted and perverted relationship was hard to fathom at first, but seeing first-hand how the two women played it out over and over again made me realize Peri was employing brainwashing techniques. On the surface, the average person walking into the Yoga Room at first would meet Peri and her staff and walk away with a feeling of love and kindness. In hindsight, it seemed more typical of a cult.

As to money – if someone completed the 10-Day Intensive program they were pressured again to feed the Yoga Room’s continuing appetite for money and control by insisting these students would not achieve full spiritual growth unless they enrolled in yet another level of programs, the “Practicum” also known as the teacher certification program (at the cost of another $2,800), along with their “No Refund Policy” being strictly enforced.

At this point in my yoga lessons, I knew my days at the Yoga Room were numbered, and so I began investigating their business and Peri Ness to see what I could learn.

UC&P: What did your investigations discover?

Terry Rondberg: Because the Yoga Room is in such close physical proximity to the Self-Realization Fellowship (SRF) temple overlooking Swami’s Beach in Encinitas, Peri and her minions at the Yoga Room led new members into believing that they were in some way officially connected to or sanctioned by SRF.  As I began my own investigation, I discovered that this was completely untrue.

Regrettably, it appears that the Yoga Room and its followers were more like a “cult,” which has become a pejorative word describing many legitimate spiritual leaders. Unfortunately, that word has been associated with SRF itself. Studies of the psychological aspects of cults focus on an individual person (cult leader) engaging in absolute “mind control” of a victim. The most common tactic used by cult leaders is coercive persuasion which suppresses the ability of people to reason, think critically, and make choices in their own best interest.

UC&P: So, to be clear, are you saying Peri Ness DeFay is a cult leader?

Terry Rondberg: Yes, it is my opinion that the characteristics of a cult describe the Yoga Room and Peri Ness DeFay perfectly. Studies of cults have identified a number of common tactics used in this type of coercive persuasion:

1. People are put in physically or emotionally distressing situations; at the Yoga Room they begin stripping away an individual’s sense of self by selling their so-called “10-Day Intensive” program, which includes food deprivation, psychological and physical exhaustion. The staff at the Yoga Room constantly insist that members undergo the 10-Day Program to “transform their life.”  This program costs $2,800.
2. Peri and her disciples practice the “broken record” type of manipulative communication; they repeatedly emphasize that members should practice “synergy yoga” everyday to find true spiritual bliss.
3. It is demanded that the students (aka victims) of the Yoga Room have absolute commitment and loyalty to Peri and her disciples.
4. Broken down victims find that they lose their own identities, resulting in inevitable family conflict when they return to their “real” life.
5. Entrapment and access to outside information is severely controlled.

UC&P: You seem to know a lot about cults.

Terry Rondberg: Yes, I actually hired a cult expert, Rick Ross — who’s been studying cults since 1982 — to investigate the Yoga Room and write a detailed report on his findings. Secular cult opponents tend to define a “cult” as a religious or non-religious group that tends to manipulate, exploit, and control its members. Specific factors in cult behavior are said to include manipulative and authoritarian mind control over members, communal and totalistic organization, aggressive proselytizing, systematic programs of indoctrination, and perpetuation in middle-class communities.

While acknowledging there are multiple definitions of the word “cult,” Michael Langone states that “Cults are groups that often exploit members psychologically and/or financially, typically by making members comply with leadership’s demands through certain types of psychological manipulation, popularly called “mind control,” and through the inculcation of deep-seated anxious dependency on the group and its leaders.”

A similar definition is given by Louis Jolyon West:

“A cult is a group or movement exhibiting a great or excessive devotion or dedication to some person, idea or thing and employing unethically manipulative techniques of persuasion and control (e.g., isolation from former friends and family, debilitation, use of special methods to heighten suggestibility and subservience, powerful group pressures, information management, suspension of individuality or critical judgment, promotion of total dependency on the group and fear of [consequences of] leaving it, etc.) designed to advance the goals of the group’s leaders to the actual or possible detriment of members, their families, or the community.”

In each of the above definitions, the focus tends to be on the specific tactics of conversion, the negative impact on individual members, and the difficulty in leaving once indoctrination has occurred. In the case of the Yoga Room, Peri’s personal entourage of disciples are testament to this type of cult-like mind control.

UC&P: You keep mentioning “mind control.” Why?

Terry Rondberg: One only has to think back to Jim Jones leading his cult to committing mass suicide to understand the power which mind control can wield and how it can destroy lives and families.  I’m not saying that the Yoga Room has risen to this level, but there should always be concerned vigilance.

Peri demands absolute and unchallenged obedience of her disciples and followers. Peri’s goals seem to be gaining personal wealth and power over others. She teaches that she has sole possession of truth and knowledge, and her belief is superior to those of other religions or beliefs. As a group leader, Peri seemingly has free rein to decide what her followers will believe.  Since open discussion or debate is discouraged and unquestioning obedience praised, her subjects have learned to suppress any sort of independent thinking.

UC&P: You refer to Peri as a “dragon” and a “sorceress,” but she must have seemed very nice to begin with. When did you begin to notice a change in her behavior?

Terry Rondberg: Let me give you some examples from my stint at the Yoga Room. The class begins and ends with Om, Shanti, Shanti, Shanti.  “Om” is the original sound of creation. “Shanti” means peace. One is led to believe that the school promotes spirituality and promotes SRF teachings as their main objective. However, what is not revealed is that Peri uses SRF as a cover for power over others and monetary gain. There is indeed a very evil side with many dark secrets; much later I discovered there are upwards of several hundred people in my community who have been emotionally scarred by the Yoga Room and its leader Peri Ness.

One of the former yoga room teachers, David Lakin, told me that Peri believes she is the reincarnation of the great Saint Lahiri Mahasaya, who was Paramahansa Yogananda’s teacher and spiritual leader. Roxanne believed Peri was her own source of spiritual knowledge and that Peri was her spiritual teacher. One can be assured that, in words similar to vice Presidential candidate Senator Lloyd Bentsen when he said to candidate Dan Quayle (describing himself as on part with President John F. Kennedy): “I knew Jack Kennedy, I served with Jack Kennedy, Jack Kennedy was my friend. Let me tell you, you are no Jack Kennedy.”  Well, I’m here to tell you, Peri is no Lahiri Mahasaya.

I personally observed how Peri controlled others in the most horrific way, so much that they have lost their own thoughts, will and common sense. On one occasion, Roxanne told me that she would do anything Peri tells her to do without question. Then she said if Peri told her to wear a pink blouse she would go and change without asking why. What does this suggest?

This is not what the Great Masters teach us, nor is it consistent with the true beliefs of SRF. It is a perversion of the purity and integrity of Yogananda’s actual philosophy and teachings.

UC&P: But if Peri is such a monster, why would anyone associate with her?

Terry Rondberg: What my investigations discovered was that Peri has antagonized many of her neighbors and has had countless “parting of the ways” with many people with whom she has done business. I find it very telling that after doing four 10-day intensives a year for 10 years, she maintains very little ongoing communication with most of her former students or teachers. Indeed, there is only a handful that still communicate with her!

It becomes obvious that Peri is obsessed with her own perceived power over her victims and appear to constantly crave yet more power to feed her own unrelenting appetite for more control.

Sadly, many students and staff at the Yoga Room are particularly susceptible to this type of abuse because they have histories of either substance dependencies or sexual abuse that are preyed upon in order to achieve Peri’s agenda.

Many times I noticed that when someone quit or left the Yoga Room, Peri and her staff would hurl insults and lies and often demand other staff members to cease all communication with this person again.  If they disobeyed this would be considered an act of betrayal against the Yoga Room.  This is all so astonishing that it would be laughable if it wasn’t true; the people who work there feel helpless and afraid of criticizing their leader or losing their jobs so they mindlessly go along with this bad behavior.

Peri has also convinced her followers that when someone leaves unhappily from the Yoga Room it is because her original Hatha yoga practice is so powerful and has removed so many layers of emotional blocks that the student can’t handle it and they turn on her.  She once complained how hard it is for her to see so many former students at the SRF Temple after she gave them all so much and then they turned on her and betrayed her.

Peri also denied her own natural physical health problems. She explained it would not look good since she believes, and instructs her staff to tell everyone, that yoga can heal you. The Yoga Room has signs hanging on the windows and walls telling the public that daily yoga practice can cure almost anything wrong with you. Leader Peri knows how hypocritical and embarrassing this would look if the students knew how little yoga has helped her heal.

UC&P: Let’s talk about some lessons learned. How can people avoid your experience?

Terry Rondberg: There are some basic rules you can follow to protect yourself against cults like the Yoga Room:

1. Learn to cope with stress. All of us face different levels of stress in our lives. When we feel it is starting to get the best of us, we are most likely to be seduced by someone selling happiness.
2. Never be afraid to question. Always be wary of anyone who tries to prevent or discourage you from questioning.
3. Learn to recognize common cult recruitment tactics and situations.
4. Be diligent about checking out people offering services who are excessively or inappropriately friendly.
5. Beware of people who pressure you to do something you don’t really want to do. Don’t be afraid to say NO.
6. Beware of people who confidently claim that they can help you solve your problems, especially when they know little about you.
7. Likewise watch out for people who make claims about achieving enlightenment, or following the road to happiness. If their claims seem too good to be true, they are probably false.
8. Beware of people who promise quick solutions to difficult problems or who always seem happy, even when common sense dictates otherwise.

Your devotion, faith and belief in God are your primary defenses against psychological manipulation. PROTECT IT!!

UC&P: What else have your investigations turned up?

Terry Rondberg: I discovered that a former teacher at the Yoga Room found out that Peri had stolen her yoga therapy techniques and all the information used in her yoga therapy training manuals, from a school based in Hawaii called Phoenix Rising. 

It seems to me that the Yoga Room staff should ask why they pretend to follow the SRF teachings, which teach you to love God and become self-realized.  Perhaps they should devote the rest of their lives to repenting and asking for God’s forgiveness.

One of the core concepts at the 10-Day Intensive program is that when you speak about the things in your life that have caused you so much emotional pain, you can release the fears you are holding onto from all of these experiences and this will transform your life. Unfortunately, it is a naive and dangerous approach to mental health. This experience reminded me of the Soup Nazi.

UC&P: The Soup Nazi? Please enlighten us.

Terry Rondberg: “The Soup Nazi” is a famous episode of the NBC sitcom, Seinfeld. The Soup Nazi is a stone-faced immigrant chef with a thick Stalin-esque moustache, who is renowned throughout Manhattan for his delicious soups. He demands that all customers in his restaurant meticulously follow his strict queuing, ordering, and payment policies.  Failure to adhere to his demands brings the admonishment, “No soup for you!”

Nothing I can think of describes the Yoga Room better than this. If a student or staff member dares to question Peri they are told to get out and stay out for being so disrespectful and not “honoring their Source” or “acting with integrity.”  And yet, Peri does not walk her talk, instead she proclaims, “No Yoga for You!”

In the book Bringing Out the Best in Our Relationships With Others, Yogananda does not recommend hurting others’ feelings. Nor does Yogananda recommend unprovoked and negative battles in his translation and commentary of the Bhagavad-Gita. Yet this is the reality at the Yoga Room and how Peri behaves. Former staff have been known to leave the Yoga Room in humiliation after faithful service only to be treated with disdain and called the worst things imaginable, i.e., drug addicts, psychopathic liars or pedophiles, all because they did not comply with Peri’s views.

This did not happen occasionally. Many people on staff have been asked to write horrible and cruel letters to those who quit the Yoga Room telling them how unwelcome they are, what horrible people they are and never to come back because they are not welcome.   Many of these former students and teachers have opened their own yoga schools in the area and have been able to transcend the hypnotic effect of the mind control exerted at the Yoga Room.

UC&P: Would Yogananda or the SRF condone such behavior if they knew this was commonplace?

Terry Rondberg: In Living Fearlessly by Paramahansa Yogananda, we learn how to break the shackles of fear and overcome our own psychological stumbling blocks.  Filled with life-transforming counsel, Living Fearlessly is a testament to what we can become if we but have faith in the divinity of our true nature as the soul. The “how-to-live” wisdom of applied spirituality from the voluminous teachings of Paramahansa Yogananda presents practical keys for bringing into daily life the inner balance and harmony that is the essence of yoga. Through the practice of meditation and the application of the universal principles of right action and right attitude, we can all experience every moment as an opportunity to grow in awareness of the Divine while rising above limitations, fear, and suffering to live a truly rich life.

Yogananda does not teach us to be vindictive or to strike out and hurt others when they are not in conformity with our own personal beliefs.  He does not teach that to achieve a state of fearlessness one must manipulate and dominate others resorting to false accusations and lies.  This is in sharp contrast to what happens when someone quits the Yoga Room and they are ostracized and considered outcasts and enemies, branded as “acting out of integrity.”

UC&P: So what do you hope will be the ultimate result of your investigation and this story?

Terry Rondberg: I would estimate that there are hundreds of “walking wounded” who have been victims of this cult, considered by many to be a morally bankrupt and fraudulent business.  We must be fearless and not hide our heads in the sand.  It is time for all of the victims to stand up and be heard, which can only result in healing yourselves.

This is why I believe that this story is so important for our community.  It has the potential to serve as an oasis for survivors of the Yoga Room and their questionable programs, as well as a place that can provide an opportunity to share read about a similar experience so they know that they are not alone.

I hope my journey has been a beacon of light to the dozens of people I have personally met who still carry the psychological scars and emotional wounds received at the Yoga Room, and to those countless others who may even now be considering the Yoga Room as a legitimate sanctuary. In my opinion, based on the high-pressure tactics, the Yoga Room seems to be designed to amass personal wealth for Peri and Charles DeFay rather than provide any true sanctuary for others.

These are some of the reasons why I feel compelled to share my experiences with those who might fall victim to this cult. I hope and pray that this story will be shared with others in our community.

I also grateful that leaders of SRF became aware of and took action in distancing the Self Realization Fellowship and the great name of Paramahansa Yogananda from this fraudulent cult of the Yoga Room and its leader Peri Ness DeFay and her husband Charles DeFay.

I hope my story offers the potential of preventing similar pain and suffering among sincere seekers of truth and self realization, as well as an alternative for you who are looking for healthier ways to cope with stress in your lives.

Much Love and Light to You on Your Spiritual Journey,

Terry Rondberg, DC

[Editor’s Note] After this story originally came to light, the Yoga Room in Encinitas closed. Peri and her husband have moved on, but they continue to practice their business (now known as Synergy Yoga/Surf Therapy Yoga) in Point Arena in Northern California.

Update: I recently posted the Yoga Room Report prepared by Rick Ross, and expert witness in the area of cults, as well as this declaration from myself (Terry A. Rondberg) and another declaration from Michelle (Roxanne) DePalma.